All pages filed under "retro"
In the ancient lands of Moo-Moo it is commonly known that modern games are always broken only to be repaired at a later date with patches and DLC and
Retro games are perfect, always worked as intended and never required a patch or re-release. Of course in actual reality the entire previous sentence is
complete and utter crap.
I have recently had the great pleasure of playing and completing the awful, unfinished, buggy disaster that is Aliens: Colonial Marines. Only issue… it
was really good! Yes, there is a typo in one small section of the code that “fixes” the Xeno A.I. but I played assuming this was now fixed and really had no issues
beyond the occasional glitch, that was when I realised I still had to change it myself. Do the ALANS move better now? Yes, but it was not game breaking. Far from it.
I completed the game after roughly 9 hours of tense battles, slightly iffy stealth and the occasional firefight with some Weyland humans, which was also very enjoyable and
broke the game up in to around four seperate styles of gameplay. I am currently part way through the same game but now in co-op with a freind, who just happens to be called
Hicks IRL due his affinity with the movies. The code typo is fixed and its blistering good fun! This is the game that many rate as the killer of all Alien games and… It’s just not
true. Is it the greatest game ever created? Don’t be daft, that goes to 3D Deathchase on the ZX Spectrum! But, its easily a 7 outa 10 kinda experience.
The story could end there and the cynics could go back to living in the lands of Moo-Moo but I also got in to another game this past couple of weeks that has a very similar reputation to Colonial Marines,
but for very different reasons. Star Citizen has had and is still having a Free-Fly Week so I jumped in expecting to be very unimpressed and… yeah, I bought the game now.
WHAT!? But Hitch how could you do this? Star Citizen is only backed now by idiots who have already spent way too much money and can never admit that its truly awful, a scam, an unfinished mess that
shall never be completed! I mean, maybe? I won’t deny that I thought the same and still do in some ways.
Is it a scam? Lets clear that one up first. No. Anyone who has invested even just a few days in the game to a real extent will happily say the game is in no way a scam. its a fucking money sink but no, not a scam.
So? Buggy? Incomplete? A mess? Never be finished? I cannot answer the last one so I leave that to the game Gods but as for buggy, incomplete and a mess? For fucking sure, lol. Thing is, like Aliens: Colonial Marines, what
you do get is fun, frantic and glorious to play when it all works (which is about 80% of the time so far for me). It has issues but like Aliens I will say no more than you often get with a Bethesda game, and
we keep buying those don’t we? Even the truly awful ones, but what you do get is pure gameplay heaven for the likes of me who wants to live in a reality that is not my own where I get to fly space ships and land on moons and planets
my real eyes will never see.
There is more than enough content in the game right now to satisfy most players and lets not forget this is still an Alpha, though that excuse for some bugs doesn’t work for me after nearly 10 years… It IS still in said Alpha,
like it or not. At the end of the day this game is no more broken than some Creed games have been but offers far more when it works.
One huge thing the game has going for it is the community. I expected a bunch of bitter vets, like my end game experience with EVE-Online but so far, they are just helpful and nice, even the pirates! Honestly, maybe
the pirates are even more helpful because they want you to play the game! And yes, piracy is an option I am looking at too. I will certainly be taking the PVP route at some point because… well, ex EVE-Online player who
did much more than carebear in Empire… cough. So yes, community. Just now I had a guy travel from a Moon to land at my spaceport to take a lift to my floor because I had a ghost elevator, aka it wasn’t there and I was stuck.
He just shouts in global chat that he is coming to help me. On the way we picked up a guy who was also stuck on a different floor, then we talked about going to kill Xeno terrorist groups as a team. Not many games do this anymore.
I guess the entire point of this post is to say, do not judge a book by what others say. We all do it, I have done it many times! And if a game is broken, it doesn’t mean its a bad game, it just means it broken, just like all those
Retro Games that “always came working as intended…”. Yeah, that’s for part 2 :)
Safe flying Citizens! Unless you are after a little more anyway!
Hitch, what is your favourite console?
I am asked that a lot due to the nature of most peoples relationship with me, aka retro streaming and communities. Problem is
its the wrong question. I could answer it and the answer would be the SEGA Saturn and Panasonic 3DO but its still the wrong question.
OK OK! hitch, what is your favourite retro system?
YUS! the Spectrum, K thanks bye. Specifically the ZX Spectrum 128k +2A (herein known as the speccy).
As anyone who knows me fairly well will testify to, I have had a loving relationship with the (best) micro-computer since 1981(2) and it all started
with the humble and amazing best selling computer of all time, at the time, the ZX Spectrum. I had previous Sinclair computers the ZX80 and ZX81 but the speccy
is the one that showed me the true power of the computer. Its ease of use, its excellent BASIC (which was perhaps done better by the BBC B but thats all opinions and doesn’t count),
its incredible software (games?) and its entry price point.
I am not alone, everyone had one! If you didn’t you were just an outlier back then with Dragons and the like, and as such your childhood circle grew with tape sharing, advice, programming help, Ice Cream Sodas and Beans on Toast
at your mates house by the mum you would later in life learn was to be called MILF. Hey, deny it but you all know its true!
Recently I recieved my very first Speccy 128k +2A and… Why did I wait so long? Was it fear that my humble 48k would be left in the cold faster than a political opponent of Putin? Well, if so it is certainly feeling those
Siberian winters because frankly put, the 128K Spectrum with its GLORIOUS AY sound chip is the greatest 8-bit Computer of its age and this age and any other fucking age that shall come to pass!
Nostalgia you say? Never had one so not really but yes, some plays a part from the 48k days and I am unashamedly now a bloody fanbois. I christen myself as such and stand proud alongside the rest.
This past week I have re-lived the glory days of Deathchase, and beat my old high score! I have mined with Manic, I have landed on hostile Planets to put my broken ship back together and fuel it with…
wooden crates of fuel that fall as if a miracle from the sky! I have gleamed alongside GULF and had more than one Alter Ego whilst climbing the Old Tower. I have rocked my socks with a vibrant Demo Scene
and pogo’d with viewers to the cruel sounds of 90s Techno. I can honestly state that this nerd has now lived the high life like a blister in the sun. Thank you speccy. I heart you!
Why do we retro? In this case my meaning is more specifically, why do we retro game? Why do we suffer the indignity of getting old games to work on older machines?
I highly suspect there is no one answer. No catch-all for this specific question. We, the retro-gamer live in a world filled with nostalgia, rose tints and memories
of a life that was simply… better. Of course all those reasons are anecdotal at best but maybe that is the whole point of retro in general, in all aspects. If I wear old reading glasses
or dress in vintage clothing it is the same as listening to music of a different generation. It speaks to us on very different levels and this changes across the
vast spectrum of humanity and, in my humble opinion is why retro is important to all of us, or at least most of us. I would go so far to say that if you are a
reader of this blog or not you will at some point look at something in the past and smile with recollection and this dear reader is why the above question is simply impossible.
If I take my own self, the only self I am actually qualified to contemplate then I would answer that I retro because it makes me feel safe. When I play retro-games I tempt
myself back to a time that, in the moment, is a good place to be. I would equate it to being in a Cat Stevens song. There are sad moments but even those are a warm memory. There is the
prospect of sorrow but one we are prepared for because we already lived it, we are here right now reliving those memories. We beat the game, the video game and the game of life and we can smile
inwardly and outwards as we tackle one more level, one more course and godamn it feels good! We listen to recordings of the past and sing along, we read old fiction to get a glimpse of what we
miss or what we wish we had missed and it makes us smile.
Those who did not live through that particular game, or generation can still re-live the experience and joy because we as humans are by our very nature empathic to others and their experiences. So
when someone tells you that the kids will never experience… blah blah, tell them how wrong they are. Go one step further and show them how to pass on the joy of retro instead of gatekeeping an
experience they only feel is for the entitled few.
So, back to the question. I answered. Now it is your turn. Why do you retro? What do you retro? Find me, tell me. I am sincerely interested.
It seems I am no longer a variety streamer… I guess I am a retro variety streamer now? Its a little depressing to be honest.
So, looking at my viewing figures it would appear that people only come to watch me if I stream retro gamnes, aka PS3 and down. Now whilst that
is not the worst thing to happen in regard to my Twitch stream there are moments when I either cannot think what retro to play or I fancy
something modern… and on the very rare occasion I simply don’t want to play anything old. What is the problem I hear you ask? Why
are worried about viewers? Play what you want! There is a point in streaming that, if you wish to take it seriously, that it just doesn’t work that way.
I can, and have streamed for 5-10 people and at the start of all this that was fine. You have to grow, nobody can just walk in and suddenly hit a magical
number that says you “made it” but after a long period (think years not months) you start to expect a little more and I have reached that period. I stream
for many reasons including community, education, enjoyment and… growth. I want to grow. I want to reach more people. I crave, nay, thrive on the feedback and
interaction with others. It shows on my streams. When I get real feedback and conversation I relax, slip in to calm mode and really enjoy myself. You cannot, or at least I
cannot do this with 5 viewers.
I am not being disparaging to those who do stream to a handful, I am merely stating that I want more, I expect more and I honestly think I deserve more in a non-egotistical way.
I worked bloody hard to 40-50 and when that turns to under 10 overnight due to the game I play, well it hits me hard right in the feels. I feel like I am wasting my time and
when that happens I ponder why I am bothering and so, I am forcing myself to only play retro, preferably on real hardware from this point onwards.
What is really strange to me is the fact that I have been pushed in to a corner with this. I know of other streamers who get boxed and packaged as a “Siege Streamer” etc
but never suspected for one minute I’d only be entertaining if I was playing old shit! I guess old streamer, old systems? I have always identified as a variety streamer, I
could never limit myself to one system or genre of game and whilst that is still true it feels slightly enforced at the moment and that is something I will have to live with, or quit… for real this time! lol.
So, I begin yet another chapter in my streaming years. So many years… Haha! I am not down about it, I am disapointed but not in the people who watch, or do not watch in this case. I am
disapointed in myself that I don’t have enough character to pull off being a true variety streamer. Maybe it’s my own fault for being so damn good at retro? yeah, let us go with that so I
keep the smile :)
I am a little lost in the tidal waters of emulation and the piracy that surrounds it. I never used to be, I was always in the ‘It’s fine!' camp
but things have changed considerably of late with a massive influx of mini-consoles from SEGA, Sony, Nintendo, NEC etc plus the additions
from SNK, Capcom and the licensed full sized cabs that are out there now. Throw in the AntStream service and, well, piracy IS a service
problem and there is no problem with the retro gaming service anymore. We can now legally purchase many of the best games and play
them on well made hardware and applications so are we justified to pirate roms still?
It isn’t an easy question to answer, and trust me when I say that whilst I do pay for legitimate retro gaming in many ways, from the aforementioned mini-consoles
and the AntStream app I still pirate some games be they old or new. The new stuff I really do ‘try before I buy’ and if I really enjoy a
new game I WILL purchase it, though many times it is when the sales come around. As a PC gamer for many years, sales are key to many of my enjoyments. Retro
however is harder. You can purchase it and as already stated I do pay for a lot of it and I do feel better as a person when playing something legit that
gives the IP owners some money, even if the IP owner is now a chip shop in Wolverhampton and had nothing to do with the game. They own it, they should get
something for it, simple.
So what is the problem? The problem is FOMO…
The Fear Of Missing Out. Let me be honest here, if you suffer from FOMO you are basically a selfish shit who thinks the World owes them something and…
here is the downer, we all feel this way over something and we justify piracy because of it. “It won’t hurt anyone”, “the real Devs don’t make money from this anymore”,
“Who the hell cares now!?”. I’ll tell you who cares, the people we are ripping off. Like it or not, and most will not like it at all, piracy is taking
money from the hands that we are supposed to be respecting. We play that pirated retro game because we love it, it was our childhood, we cared about this game for fucks sake and…
Well it seems we care less than we think we do, because we do not care that they do not get paid despite all our professed love for the developers otherwise we would pay them!
For the record, “I bought the game 30 years ago!” does not count. I am not preaching here, every single excuse above has been given by myself over time too and I feel
bad about it but guess what, I still do it.
So, I made myself and maybe some of you feel bad. I probably made some of you mad that I dare tell the truth, which is a good thing because it means like me, you also care. But
what do we do about it? How do we fix it? Easy solution, stop thinking you need to own every single game ever created and stick to the ones that are out there in various legally and morally
available solutions. Think you can do that? Yeah, me either damnit. The simple truth is that despite all the solutions available there are some things we still want to play that we
will probably never be able too legally. Licensing issues abound for one thing. I know a little something about trying to aquire a license for retro games. I am still trying to
get myself the rights to Deathchase on the ZX Spectrum by Mervyn Estcourt and it seems like the game and the dev have both fell in to a black hole. The publishers know nothing, the dev
has dropped off the face of the Planet and the chances of me grabbing this are roughly zero. So, does this make it OK to pirate it? If no money can go to the dev or publisher, if the
rights to the game are seemingly out in the wilds of nowhere and nobody is getting ripped off, is this OK? If we say yes, what happens when Mervyn pops up and says “OI! Gimmie my monies!”?
I feel as if what I am about to say is one of the many excuses we already used above but, I think this is allowed? Am I just doing what I accused you and myself of doing anyway?
I think there are no solutions to all of the quandaries I have raised but perhaps whilst we cannot solve everything in a legal matter we can at least be, mostly, morally decent. I do my
best to purchase legal roms. I supplement them with illegal ones but I do not feel a need to have every game ever made just to have them. It’s the best I can do and I feel it is all I can do
without never playing some of the games I really enjoyed and I promise when a real solution to ALL retro gaming comes around I will support it!
I am Hitch, I stream games on twitch and I LOVE retro gaming. I am a pirate, and I feel bad about it.
This past week I decided to re-engage with some of the retro community. I pulled back from a lot of it on a personal level because,
well lets be honest here, it’s got some right dicks in it. All communities do of course, this is nothing new nor special
to retro gaming but I always felt the retro gaming community could do better than it often does and as such I felt more
disapointment than maybe I should when they devolved back in to silly fanbois with “mine’s better than yours”. I should say I have
also done this, but to justify myself a little, perhaps mostly to myself. It was done when backed up against a wall by the aforementioned fanbois.
When in a balanced conversation I may joke that the CD32 is an STD and that the C64 is a brown based waste of time, but I don’t actually mean
it, I just come off strongly because you have to shout to be heard over some of these people. The reality, all retro is cool to someone and
thats why it is great.
So anyway, my social engagement has started again. Not with everyone but with those I feel a mutual respect with, those that know about retro
in general and those that have the intelligence to see the good and bad in all the systems. Twitch has had a lot to do with this as I slowly
dump the haters I have met along the way. The sad defilers of enjoyment and discussion can DIAF. I am here to talk retro, to play ALL retro. No better, best, worse, just
entertainment and fun from a bygone era that some of us think deserve preservation and love.
In doing so I would like to thank some of those who helped me come back from the edge of social obscurity outside of my Twitch channel. I am doing it in here
because the haters cannot reply and will probably not even see it. The ones I thank, if they do see it, can’t say a damn thing to me and make me
I shall start with the regulars. Kola, Pixels, Edd, Hicks and Grey. I call them my crew and I mean it not as a leader but as a fellow equal. They always seem to
have my back even when I may not entirely deserve it. As mentioned on a stream recently, I would hunt their murderers down and steal back the stolen memories.
They also stream the things I enjoy (‘cept for Edd who really should!). We like the same things despite also being very different. They are the pinnacle of a community that may be small but
with those hearts within, it feels huge.
Throwing some love to Beanhed81, he who I constantly annoy with my dissing of the CD32 but takes it on the chin like a pro. He who enjoys colour
over puke greens and dull browns and knows the simple truth of SEGA Saturn. It is the best. He is the best. I am extremely lucky to have found him and
as with the guys above I feel if we lived closer then many an hour at the pub would be had talking shit about old dead things with smiles on our faces.
To AmigaBill. A fanbois that I actually like! He may well defend the Amiga but his appreciation for all retro is apparent and his community should
feel lucky he leads it. Possibly the nicest guy I have never met.
The AntStream team. Only spoke to a couple but the obvious love for retro in general and the desire to spread the word of old is something that
makes me proud to be a part of that team. I always say that i will never promote that which I do not like and enjoy no matter what they pay me and
i’d promote them for free. Just don’t tell them, OK? Lol. If you see this BK, just ignore it! Special shout out to Woody. He has been in my corner since taking over from
other people and I really do feel like the lad would catch me if I fell backwards with my eyes closed. Jim, I can say no more than you ‘Mother Fucking Legend’ <3
And last but certainly not least to my community. The place you hang with me has changed over the years. The names changed, the people have changed but you guys are
the best my community has ever been by a million miles. I thank you from the heart. You make my “job” a pleasure and even when I contemplate ending it (the streams not myself)
its knowing you guys are out there that pulls me back so i enjoy it again. Dazza, Sparkles, Coconut, Steve, Prof, Bovine, Berz, Smol boy and girl, Rhino, Gaffer, Tas and everyone else who support me just
by being around on my streams and in my Discord. Hugs. I left a ton of people out, you are just as important to me but I have to stop otherwise the list would look like one of Pixels excel sheets!
The biggest thank you goes to Pinkemma. She will probably tell me to “fuck off nerd” and whilst doing so will bring me some cinnamon covered apple slices during my stream. This is why she is simply
the best. Trust me, without her behind me you lot would have no streams.
A silly post in many ways, but I felt the need to say it and now I have.
Keep it real. Keep it retro!
This week I have been mostly…
Playing one tune over and over and over! Duel by Propaganda from around 1985-1986 has been the Hitch fuel of
choice this past week. All because of an Amiga Public Domain game of which the name completely escapes me now!
Public Domain, for those unaware is probably the mainstay of many an Amiga users survival throughout its heyday
and beyond. PD disks were around 50p to a pound back in the UK from the late 80s to the late 90s and sadly died
when the Amiga started to fade away as nothing more than nostalgia. Today from what I can tell the PD scene never
was revived despite the small revival amongst certain retro fans of the Amiga.
PD disks were packed from anything to random programs, currated games and demos and even mags on a disk (we can talk about those later).
There were many but perhaps the most well known currated versions were Fred Fish and Assassins, the latter being
my reasons for the tune by Propaganda this past few days. You took your blanks and paid a little less or you bought the
disks from that slightly shady guy who lived with his mum who could also provide you with less… legit disks, floppy or CD.
PD however was mostly extremely legit and legal. People often sent in programs they had written to the guys at say Assassin who
compiled them in to this weeks or this months latest collection, copied it on the disks and sold it on. The cost was merely to
cover the basics. No-one made money from these when doing pure PD and if they did it was merely luck not a method to fleece anyone.
There are many great PD games and programs too, from Trackers to the wonders of Scorched Earth and Gravity Force 2 (my personal favourite).
An awful lot of the games were multiplayer based and so got used a hell of a lot back in the day at various computer clubs
and living rooms. Quite a few PD devs even made fully released games as either an outlet or side hobby and it was
even a way to become one of those bedroom coders who could break out and become the next Codemasters.
I have a lot of nostalgia for the Amiga and thinking back, most of it is based around PD disks, BBS boards and the Shareware
scenes, something sadly lacking today that many a new console or computer user shall never experience and in my opinion are far
worse off for never having.
For any interested I am currently streaming some PD disks, Mags on a Disk and other similiar items on my Twitch. Some
of you may even know where to find it, for those that do not… Read back a little :)
For the record, I listened to Duel 5 times whilst writing this post.
As many know I have one or two retro systems… This means I often ignore some because I either forget, cannot be arsed or simply never get around to it.
Yesterday, after making a promise to viewers I pulled my Wii out to play Gamecube games and make sure it was all working. Part of the reason I haven’t done it
for a long time is that its a wire hell with external HDDs and the like due to it being softmodded, aka run pirate games digitally. This is now fixed
and I can run all GC games from the internal SD Card. Now the card is only 32gigs but given there are not that many GC games I care about
this is more than enough for now. I am without Wii games though and this needs to be fixed to run the same way, something I will do at a later date.
The actual moving of files went well with no real hassle bar the game IDs because I used the old method which requires a game to be named after
its offial ID, aka GEMP01 instead of the actual name. This wasn’t hard, but was time consuming compared to the rest. The new method now has folders named
however you want, I use the game name because it makes sense, which makes life much easier. Surprisingly the NAND was intact and the Virtual Console games
also ran as intended so Mario 64 could also be a thing. Mario Kart 64 runs like ass though, why did anyone buy that on VC?
A cheap Wii2HDMI is also being used. I think it cost me like a fiver 2 years back and then I never used it. This, again, makes life easier with my new set-up detailed in another entry
in this blog. Plug in, turn on, play game, stream. Easy. Let the Nintendo streams begin!
Side news, also installed a EVO m2 SSD as my 2nd “drive” so back to normal storage space now. Amazingly it runs faster than my main SSD despite being on the
slower PCIe. Also, this blog needs pictures…
Changing ones lifestyle is easy or hard? I am going with the latter but I do believe the hard part of both is that you have to want it. I want it.
This is not a depresing post, in-fact its the exact opposite even though some will see it as depressing and may even be concerned for my welfare. Do not be, I am fine.
For the past few weeks, maybe months, I have been considering downsizing my Retro Gaming collection. Now, when I say downsizing I mean actual, real, downsizing. I am hoping to aquire a new job, one I want to do for a change and if I get it
I will likely dump 90% of my gear. If I do not get the job then I am likely still going to dump a large percentage of my current gear. Maybe… We shall see. Just writing that line
has made me reconsider my possible future actions and that annoys me! See, I know that I want change but as already mentioned change can be hard.
Why do I want change is perhaps the more pertinant question I should ask myself and believe me, I have… a lot.
The answer I keep coming up with is not a satisfactory one. I want change because I want change. What? Can that be a reason? Can you change your life simply because you want to or do you need an actual reason for it?
It’s not like the change I want is fleeting and small. I want a new job. I want this specific job. I want to be outside more. I want to purchase a van and travel up and down the country with our bikes.
Those few, simple, points alone will drastically change how my average day rolls out from that satisifed feeling of doing a days work that you actually enjoyed to knowing I don’t have to be jovial and happy in the entertainment of others, something I enjoy
doing but it seems less so than I used to. Maybe I am just tired? I feel tired but then again I feel that this is much more than that. Perhaps I am tired because I need this change? I am over-thinking it now. I know this. I despise it when people say “you are just tired” Yes, I am tired of having my tiredness feel so inconsequential… sigh.
OK. First things first. I need to get this job. Pretty sure if I do or do not there will be something said about it in here.
I am sure some have noticed my lack of streaming lately. I think last week I managed two in a week that normaly contains five a week. Panic not… just yet anyway.
We all need a break in whatever we do, be it streaming, working (which streaming often feels like) or anything we do in life. Sometimes we just need a break. I need a break right now so I am taking it.
This is not to say there are no other reasons, there are. I have of late felt a little… Dark in the mind? Not depresed but tired. Tired on a mental level which in my opinion
is the hardest one to beat. Couple that with a tiredness of the body due to lack of excercise, dark nights, lack of sleep… oh I could go on but I won’t, and streaming is taking
a definitive back ring on the stove top of life. Heh, I like that. The stove top of life! Must remember to use that one again. There are other factors present that push my current interest to stream further away.
One is the new PC coming. Both myself and Emma are treating ourselves to a gaming desktop rig for Christmas and I have to say I am excited.
It’s been a long time since the concept of jonesing (having the latest thing) in computers caused anything inside me other than self hate but right now the thought of RTX, Gen4 PCIe, RGB Memory and the rest make me feel like
I did when I first started on the PC side. Back then it was a Voodoo and playing Quake 2 at full screen, full speed and realising I had downed a 6-pack of Coke and lost track of 8 hours straight.
This new excitment follows very similiar lines except this time around its large bottles of sugar free Coke and Quake 2 with added RTX to make it all pop. The irony is not lost on me that I will be playing a retro game from 1997 on a computer
that could emulate a computer playing Quake 2 on another computer and still have the CPU to send a dozen probes to Mars in real-time. I will also be playing Red Dead Redemption 2 though so its all good.
Where was I?
Oh yes. Streaming. See, this new rig is making me turn from my chosen gaming theme of retro to the more modern and as such you can expect a week, or much more, of modern game streams ran with RTX or 1440p (2K to anyone not anal) but the downside of this
is that I want to do it NOW! The new PC isn’t here yet though so… sad, and uninspired to stream anything else until that point. Fear not though retro people, I shall still stream everything bar the C64 but perhaps slightly less than previously. Will this affect viewing figures? For sure! Is that part of the reason for the streaming woes? Good grief no. I think I reached a point now where I stream for me rather than others. I already passed the point where I cared that someone was leaving my stream
because I didn’t do a certain thing (commodore fanbois, I see you hiding in the bushes gasping for breath) and I am so much happier for it. So yes. I will be back. It will be sooner rather than later and it will be featuring a lot more modern gaming
of the type I probably at some point said I wasn’t interested in. Things change. I change.
I still love you all though!