It seems I am no longer a variety streamer… I guess I am a retro variety streamer now? Its a little depressing to be honest.
So, looking at my viewing figures it would appear that people only come to watch me if I stream retro gamnes, aka PS3 and down. Now whilst that is not the worst thing to happen in regard to my Twitch stream there are moments when I either cannot think what retro to play or I fancy something modern… and on the very rare occasion I simply don’t want to play anything old. What is the problem I hear you ask? Why are worried about viewers? Play what you want! There is a point in streaming that, if you wish to take it seriously, that it just doesn’t work that way.
I can, and have streamed for 5-10 people and at the start of all this that was fine. You have to grow, nobody can just walk in and suddenly hit a magical number that says you “made it” but after a long period (think years not months) you start to expect a little more and I have reached that period. I stream for many reasons including community, education, enjoyment and… growth. I want to grow. I want to reach more people. I crave, nay, thrive on the feedback and interaction with others. It shows on my streams. When I get real feedback and conversation I relax, slip in to calm mode and really enjoy myself. You cannot, or at least I cannot do this with 5 viewers.
I am not being disparaging to those who do stream to a handful, I am merely stating that I want more, I expect more and I honestly think I deserve more in a non-egotistical way. I worked bloody hard to 40-50 and when that turns to under 10 overnight due to the game I play, well it hits me hard right in the feels. I feel like I am wasting my time and when that happens I ponder why I am bothering and so, I am forcing myself to only play retro, preferably on real hardware from this point onwards.
What is really strange to me is the fact that I have been pushed in to a corner with this. I know of other streamers who get boxed and packaged as a “Siege Streamer” etc but never suspected for one minute I’d only be entertaining if I was playing old shit! I guess old streamer, old systems? I have always identified as a variety streamer, I could never limit myself to one system or genre of game and whilst that is still true it feels slightly enforced at the moment and that is something I will have to live with, or quit… for real this time! lol.
So, I begin yet another chapter in my streaming years. So many years… Haha! I am not down about it, I am disapointed but not in the people who watch, or do not watch in this case. I am disapointed in myself that I don’t have enough character to pull off being a true variety streamer. Maybe it’s my own fault for being so damn good at retro? yeah, let us go with that so I keep the smile :)