Do you think you can make it in the end?

Jun 1, 2022 life

This will probably come as a surprise to some and not so much to the closest people in my life but, I have no confidence… In myself.

I know. You are sat there probably scoffing at the thought or simply assuming I am leading somewhere that proves the exact opposite. I am not…. kinda.

Most weeks go past with at least one session of me wondering why I even bother. Why am I here. What is the fucking point. Now, I am NOT saying I am suicidal or anything, I am not… Haven’t been for years… But I do get depressed, just like you and everyone else. I am very good at hiding it though.

I am a complete fucking genius at looking like life is amazing. I don’t like to talk to anyone about it. I don’t even know why I am writing it down in here, although the chances of anyone reading this is near next to zero so hey, no matter etc etc. Anyway! I guess the whole point of this is I actualy feel good right now.

I feel like I have people behind me, for the first time in oh so bloody long. The girl is behind me, pushing me and saying I can do things and I believe her. I have mates who think I am capable and more than anything else this has helped me realise I can probably do something about… stuff! So here I go. A new path with a possible future and a feeling in myself that is positive and not dreamy or out of reach.

I want this! I need this! And I feel like its all reachable with some hard work and effort. I feel like I am 20 something years old. Its quite strange, I like it.

Anyway! Just thought i’d word it out on a blog nobody reads. If you do read it though… just say hi :)