Ch Ch Changes

Dec 1, 2020 streaming life retro

Changing ones lifestyle is easy or hard? I am going with the latter but I do believe the hard part of both is that you have to want it. I want it.

This is not a depresing post, in-fact its the exact opposite even though some will see it as depressing and may even be concerned for my welfare. Do not be, I am fine. For the past few weeks, maybe months, I have been considering downsizing my Retro Gaming collection. Now, when I say downsizing I mean actual, real, downsizing. I am hoping to aquire a new job, one I want to do for a change and if I get it I will likely dump 90% of my gear. If I do not get the job then I am likely still going to dump a large percentage of my current gear. Maybe… We shall see. Just writing that line has made me reconsider my possible future actions and that annoys me! See, I know that I want change but as already mentioned change can be hard.

Why do I want change is perhaps the more pertinant question I should ask myself and believe me, I have… a lot.

The answer I keep coming up with is not a satisfactory one. I want change because I want change. What? Can that be a reason? Can you change your life simply because you want to or do you need an actual reason for it? It’s not like the change I want is fleeting and small. I want a new job. I want this specific job. I want to be outside more. I want to purchase a van and travel up and down the country with our bikes. Those few, simple, points alone will drastically change how my average day rolls out from that satisifed feeling of doing a days work that you actually enjoyed to knowing I don’t have to be jovial and happy in the entertainment of others, something I enjoy doing but it seems less so than I used to. Maybe I am just tired? I feel tired but then again I feel that this is much more than that. Perhaps I am tired because I need this change? I am over-thinking it now. I know this. I despise it when people say “you are just tired” Yes, I am tired of having my tiredness feel so inconsequential… sigh.

OK. First things first. I need to get this job. Pretty sure if I do or do not there will be something said about it in here.