If you cut a worm in two, you make two worms

Jun 14, 2022 life

You ever get those days where your mind insists on repeating parts of a phrase, a single word, a few words from a song or just random thoughts over and over?

No matter what I have done so far I cannot stop the worm from crawling through my brain. I swear sometimes its going to drive me crazy, if I am not already! Hoping writing this down takes away the lunacy. I have found that talking out aloud to yourself works!

Hi Hitch, I am you. Pleased to meet you.

Thats just wierd…

Do you think you can make it in the end?

Jun 1, 2022 life

This will probably come as a surprise to some and not so much to the closest people in my life but, I have no confidence… In myself.

I know. You are sat there probably scoffing at the thought or simply assuming I am leading somewhere that proves the exact opposite. I am not…. kinda.

Most weeks go past with at least one session of me wondering why I even bother. Why am I here. What is the fucking point. Now, I am NOT saying I am suicidal or anything, I am not… Haven’t been for years… But I do get depressed, just like you and everyone else. I am very good at hiding it though.

I am a complete fucking genius at looking like life is amazing. I don’t like to talk to anyone about it. I don’t even know why I am writing it down in here, although the chances of anyone reading this is near next to zero so hey, no matter etc etc. Anyway! I guess the whole point of this is I actualy feel good right now.

I feel like I have people behind me, for the first time in oh so bloody long. The girl is behind me, pushing me and saying I can do things and I believe her. I have mates who think I am capable and more than anything else this has helped me realise I can probably do something about… stuff! So here I go. A new path with a possible future and a feeling in myself that is positive and not dreamy or out of reach.

I want this! I need this! And I feel like its all reachable with some hard work and effort. I feel like I am 20 something years old. Its quite strange, I like it.

Anyway! Just thought i’d word it out on a blog nobody reads. If you do read it though… just say hi :)

Broken Games - Part 1

Aug 27, 2021 muse gaming retro

In the ancient lands of Moo-Moo it is commonly known that modern games are always broken only to be repaired at a later date with patches and DLC and Retro games are perfect, always worked as intended and never required a patch or re-release. Of course in actual reality the entire previous sentence is complete and utter crap.

I have recently had the great pleasure of playing and completing the awful, unfinished, buggy disaster that is Aliens: Colonial Marines. Only issue… it was really good! Yes, there is a typo in one small section of the code that “fixes” the Xeno A.I. but I played assuming this was now fixed and really had no issues beyond the occasional glitch, that was when I realised I still had to change it myself. Do the ALANS move better now? Yes, but it was not game breaking. Far from it.

I completed the game after roughly 9 hours of tense battles, slightly iffy stealth and the occasional firefight with some Weyland humans, which was also very enjoyable and broke the game up in to around four seperate styles of gameplay. I am currently part way through the same game but now in co-op with a freind, who just happens to be called Hicks IRL due his affinity with the movies. The code typo is fixed and its blistering good fun! This is the game that many rate as the killer of all Alien games and… It’s just not true. Is it the greatest game ever created? Don’t be daft, that goes to 3D Deathchase on the ZX Spectrum! But, its easily a 7 outa 10 kinda experience.

The story could end there and the cynics could go back to living in the lands of Moo-Moo but I also got in to another game this past couple of weeks that has a very similar reputation to Colonial Marines, but for very different reasons. Star Citizen has had and is still having a Free-Fly Week so I jumped in expecting to be very unimpressed and… yeah, I bought the game now.

WHAT!? But Hitch how could you do this? Star Citizen is only backed now by idiots who have already spent way too much money and can never admit that its truly awful, a scam, an unfinished mess that shall never be completed! I mean, maybe? I won’t deny that I thought the same and still do in some ways.

Is it a scam? Lets clear that one up first. No. Anyone who has invested even just a few days in the game to a real extent will happily say the game is in no way a scam. its a fucking money sink but no, not a scam.

So? Buggy? Incomplete? A mess? Never be finished? I cannot answer the last one so I leave that to the game Gods but as for buggy, incomplete and a mess? For fucking sure, lol. Thing is, like Aliens: Colonial Marines, what you do get is fun, frantic and glorious to play when it all works (which is about 80% of the time so far for me). It has issues but like Aliens I will say no more than you often get with a Bethesda game, and we keep buying those don’t we? Even the truly awful ones, but what you do get is pure gameplay heaven for the likes of me who wants to live in a reality that is not my own where I get to fly space ships and land on moons and planets my real eyes will never see.

There is more than enough content in the game right now to satisfy most players and lets not forget this is still an Alpha, though that excuse for some bugs doesn’t work for me after nearly 10 years… It IS still in said Alpha, like it or not. At the end of the day this game is no more broken than some Creed games have been but offers far more when it works.

One huge thing the game has going for it is the community. I expected a bunch of bitter vets, like my end game experience with EVE-Online but so far, they are just helpful and nice, even the pirates! Honestly, maybe the pirates are even more helpful because they want you to play the game! And yes, piracy is an option I am looking at too. I will certainly be taking the PVP route at some point because… well, ex EVE-Online player who did much more than carebear in Empire… cough. So yes, community. Just now I had a guy travel from a Moon to land at my spaceport to take a lift to my floor because I had a ghost elevator, aka it wasn’t there and I was stuck. He just shouts in global chat that he is coming to help me. On the way we picked up a guy who was also stuck on a different floor, then we talked about going to kill Xeno terrorist groups as a team. Not many games do this anymore.

I guess the entire point of this post is to say, do not judge a book by what others say. We all do it, I have done it many times! And if a game is broken, it doesn’t mean its a bad game, it just means it broken, just like all those Retro Games that “always came working as intended…”. Yeah, that’s for part 2 :)

Safe flying Citizens! Unless you are after a little more anyway!

The day my childhood died

Aug 5, 2021 life

Today, at the age of 53, my childhood passed in the night with a gentle sigh.

I realised, with a sudden dawning of understanding, that I shall likely never go to space. I shall never feel a lack of gravity. I shall never see with my naked eye the wonder that is the Universe at large. I was born too soon. Science is getting there too slowly. I am not saddended by this, there are far more good things in my life than bad and the let down is not as sudden as the actual realisation. Its is, what it is.

I, like many others were told as a child that I was born ahead of my time. I drew the future, I dreamed the fiction. I am and always have been a spaceman in my heart and mind but I am not a Billionaire. I am too old to work my way there and Science has, to a degree, let me down in my quest to travel to the stars. Again, it is what it is.

No Aliens have contacted me and offered me a free trip to planets unknown. I do not have a magical Electronic Thumb to hitch a ride on a passing Destructor Fleet and I probably wouldn’t enjoy the poetry anyway. I should add that if any passing Aliens read this, I am an excellent example of the Human Race. I do not desire what many seem to and I am not afraid… Well, If you look like terrestial Spiders I may need a moment to realign my senses and primal fears BUT I can overcome them!

It is, what it is. It is however, saddening.

I mourn my childhood yet I also celebrate that I nearly made it. I was so close and I shall still dream.

Songs of the future

Aug 4, 2021 muse life

Songs of the futre - Part 1

The Stranger

- And the people were lost by the river, and songs were sung to guide them home.

“Do you speak the truth?”

“I say the notes, the notes fail to stutter.”

“Then you be lyrical, truth must be sound and not song.”

“But the song is distant and pure, therefore I do not lie.”

“Mentioned and taken stranger, mentioned and taken.”

“May I go then? I am weary from the steps.”

“Pass and be done.”

Each step taken as a leaded weight, one front of the other and back foot brought forward the stranger entered the tunnel. The track of pitted iron guided him through the maze of sanctuary, never once letting its fare wander or giving rise to loss. To his eyes the tunnel was smooth and never ending, gloss upon gloss and a dozen ages of use made the smooth no lie yet the tunnel did end.

A stagger backwards was taken before the door was seen. He raised a hand to push against the dark brown metal, on touching the door it opened and he stepped into the shaft. The voice was cold and clear yet soft, a woman’s, probably long dead as all in sanctuary.

“Scanned and logged. For your own safety please hold the rail.”

The bar slid silently out of the wall, instinct not comprehension making the stranger grasp hard. “Cold wood, won’t burn.” He mumbled to the air as a sudden rush of wind forced his words back within.

“Level one, main habitat.”

“No song.”

“Level two, engineering.”

“Do you sing?”

“Level three, way-station. Please disembark”

“You are not truth” The stranger stood proud, aware of the difference yet not comprehending the how or the why.

The door slid open and despite his unknowing he disembarked.

Facing the new path the stranger studied the details. He was well past the common age and if ever challenged on his years he would always reply the same. “I look for the details, always the details. A path well trodden, a waterhole fairly used, a meal taken after others. Always the details.” He had passed his father and those brought to time around him, he lasted over the bairns of the same timers and offered his details to others in kindness but of course kindness is never taken.

He looked down the path. The dark walls of granite and smooth rock replaced with off white unnatural. A perfect curve ending on either side of the gangway, metal grilled with the sound of running water underneath. Lights embedded into the walls took his attention. Without fear the stranger placed his hand gently on the clear panel, the heat of the electrical lamp warming his palm but not burning. The carbon filaments not even touching their half life as the safety programme maintained heat and light to optimum factors. Fibre optic cables embedded and sealed within the walls constantly relaying all details to the main core deep within the Cheyenne mountain range. If the stranger had known the magic of computers and high logic then he would have smiled at the details logged and tracked, but understanding would have been lost. Computers, programming, software, nuclear cells and generation technology would have been words and words didn’t have notes. They wouldn’t have song and so they were useless to him. The standing guard however he understood. The homemade stock and its purpose was plain, you entered when he said so. This was song, this was truth, and this the stranger understood.

The guard stood silent at the large iron door, hand on stock and eye on the stranger. “Speak the truth and passage will be given” The words simple and common. The stranger walked forwards uttering the common song.

“The song is truth, the notes of the song ring true”

“Which song do you speak?”

“There is only one song, one truth. To be more would be lies and not song”

“Pass and be done”

The stranger passed through the door, content with his answers and smiling at the song. A thought occupied his mind, the girl. The girl that became his side and bore him bairns of his own, all gone now, all passed as everyone else was passed. She had a name but the name was distant, many years gone and all but forgotten. He remembered the girls face, her scars and her water. He remembered her love and her death, all the same now. He looked up at the stars and the girl faded from memory once more. As she faded he cried for he knew that this was the last time yet he didn’t now why.

“Stand and prepare.” The echo of a woman gone in years past streamed into his ear once more.

“You still don’t sing” The stranger said with emotion

“Stand and prepare”


“Please follow the yellow lights, stand and prepare”

“Who are you?” The stranger looked about the room, uncomfortable with his own words. Words made speech and speech was not song, yet he spoke the words. A flicker of thought passed through his mind once again, another question: “Who am I?”

“I am transportation module 91243, you are requested traveller. Stand and prepare”

“Are you truth?” The stranger stepped forward following the small blinking lights that led to the illuminated circle.

If the program responded he didn’t hear. Within a moment his body flickered, digitized and vanished. He looked around and saw more stars in the heavens than he had managed to figure in all his years. Little did he know that one of the stars was a sun, a sun that had warmed his bones since he was brought to time. A sun now eighty light years distant and a lifetime away from understanding.

Everything above is copyright me, the owner of this blog, Hitch, Vaughan. I who resides in the shell of the named one at this moment in time.


Jun 25, 2021 gaming life

How sad it is that some people feed off negativity by trying to force it upon others. In all walks of life we will, at some point, have to deal with those who can only feel good by trying to make others feel bad but for me most comes during streams on Twitch. It’s not the first time I had to deal with it and it will not be the last but as ever I deal with it the same way, by taking the negative losers and instantly stopping them from continuing the behaviour.

What I find worse than those however are the ones who try to pass it off as a joke. It is not funny. You are not funny. You are merely a disruption waiting to be dismissed. These pathetic excuses for humanity either forget, or simply do not care, that some may feed on those negative comments and it not only offends but also disrupts lives. Many people teeter on a knifes edge of depression and trust me, it takes little to topple people over the edge.

I have covered this in my blog and stream before and we covered it a lot in last weekends immense charity stream for Safe In Our World and Mental Health awareness. I will not let my safe haven be an open battle ground for this behaviour. I do not feel that I am some white knight and yes, sometimes people do have to just deal but not always and not in my channel.

Feel free to not watch me if this upsets you. Feel free to not subscribe to me. Feel free to think that this upsets me to the point that I write this post. Nothing you do or say matters. How does that make you feel? I already know the answer, enjoy yourself and the pretend smile you are currently placing on your self, Mouth breather.

Unlock The Source

Jun 23, 2021 gaming fluff

I have a pet hate. Heck, I have a few but for this entry I have just the one. Blogs. Yes, I know I am writing this in a blog but the blogs I refer to are gaming blog sites pretending to be news sites. I am not digging at the sites in general though, more the way I am linked to them instead of the actual source of the article. Am I alone in wanting a direct source link instead of some egregious website thats only concern in life is to get hits.

Please, link me and everyone else to the source if you think they will find something interesting. Not only does it stop nefarious websites with zero talent pushing personal agendas (and most do) but it also takes people direct to the information they want, written by the people who just want you to say, play the game they made. Consider taking that extra step out of the equation for the person you care enough about to think they would find it interesting in the first place.

On the subject of blogs in general that pretend to be News sites, do people find them interesting? 99% of the articles written are just copy-pasta of the original article of interest anyway with zero thought or effort placed upon it by the ‘writer’. There are some better ones out there of course that attempt honesty and do not court deletion of things that they do not agree with, but these tend to be staffed by actual journalists and not self loathing little boys.

Free the source!

Playing Favourites

Jun 12, 2021 gaming retro life

Hitch, what is your favourite console?

I am asked that a lot due to the nature of most peoples relationship with me, aka retro streaming and communities. Problem is its the wrong question. I could answer it and the answer would be the SEGA Saturn and Panasonic 3DO but its still the wrong question.

OK OK! hitch, what is your favourite retro system?

YUS! the Spectrum, K thanks bye. Specifically the ZX Spectrum 128k +2A (herein known as the speccy).

As anyone who knows me fairly well will testify to, I have had a loving relationship with the (best) micro-computer since 1981(2) and it all started with the humble and amazing best selling computer of all time, at the time, the ZX Spectrum. I had previous Sinclair computers the ZX80 and ZX81 but the speccy is the one that showed me the true power of the computer. Its ease of use, its excellent BASIC (which was perhaps done better by the BBC B but thats all opinions and doesn’t count), its incredible software (games?) and its entry price point.

I am not alone, everyone had one! If you didn’t you were just an outlier back then with Dragons and the like, and as such your childhood circle grew with tape sharing, advice, programming help, Ice Cream Sodas and Beans on Toast at your mates house by the mum you would later in life learn was to be called MILF. Hey, deny it but you all know its true!

Recently I recieved my very first Speccy 128k +2A and… Why did I wait so long? Was it fear that my humble 48k would be left in the cold faster than a political opponent of Putin? Well, if so it is certainly feeling those Siberian winters because frankly put, the 128K Spectrum with its GLORIOUS AY sound chip is the greatest 8-bit Computer of its age and this age and any other fucking age that shall come to pass! Nostalgia you say? Never had one so not really but yes, some plays a part from the 48k days and I am unashamedly now a bloody fanbois. I christen myself as such and stand proud alongside the rest.

This past week I have re-lived the glory days of Deathchase, and beat my old high score! I have mined with Manic, I have landed on hostile Planets to put my broken ship back together and fuel it with… wooden crates of fuel that fall as if a miracle from the sky! I have gleamed alongside GULF and had more than one Alter Ego whilst climbing the Old Tower. I have rocked my socks with a vibrant Demo Scene and pogo’d with viewers to the cruel sounds of 90s Techno. I can honestly state that this nerd has now lived the high life like a blister in the sun. Thank you speccy. I heart you!


May 28, 2021 gaming streaming life

Words are amazing things. Using words we can illuminate, educate, enhance, exasperate, decimate and more. We have, of late all learnt that words we used a decade or more ago are no longer acceptable in general society and so we learn newer words to describe things. I say newer though most are far older than the shorter, often insulting words we used later in human history. We do this not because we are inhibiting others but rather we are freeing them by not placing undue limits upon them. We are not black or white, we are neither stupid nor too smart for our own good. We are all on the spectrum in some way or another and so we, or at least I, learn to use other expressions that define with more clarity than before. Someone is not just gay, they can be many things that one word covered twenty years ago and was never enough. Someone else is not just disabled, they are inpaired in a wholly different way than the next person with a disability.

I, as a streamer feel that whilst I am no vanguard of humanity I do hold a certain responsibility to people who watch my streams and as such I choose to give them a safer place to be. A place where they can, if they so wish, express themselves to others without being name called or shamed in some way, be it verbally or other and because of this I draw lines in the sand that you cross at your own peril. This is my World and like it or not, my rules. I like to think my rules are just based around common decency for others. I will warn you and if you continue you shall be treated like you choose to treat others, with disdain.

Today, in my stream that line was crossed. Two people were banned. I do not time-out, I warn then they go or apoligise and move on. I do not time-out because it is a pointless excercise in futility. If you are homophobic or a mysoginist, if you choose to hate or degrade then me or my mods timing you out will not change your behaviour. If anything it will only increase your hostility as someone dares to challenge your outdated operandi modus and so, we ban. We cut you off, we forget about you, you cease to exist in our World and your hatred has less room to fester and propogate. Too all of those who dislike this, we do not care. We care even less that you end up caring more about being silenced.

Words are amazing things. You can use them how you wish and you have and always will have the abillity to use them as you wish. Just remember, we have the ability to use ours in the same way. We have the ability and right to ignore your hate or misplaced hostility.

I draw my line in the sand on all of your words. I draw a line at homophobics. I draw a line at racism. I draw a line at mysoginism and I draw a line at insulting those who are inpaired physically or mentally.

Move along.

Why Do We Retro?

Apr 9, 2021 gaming retro life

Why do we retro? In this case my meaning is more specifically, why do we retro game? Why do we suffer the indignity of getting old games to work on older machines?

I highly suspect there is no one answer. No catch-all for this specific question. We, the retro-gamer live in a world filled with nostalgia, rose tints and memories of a life that was simply… better. Of course all those reasons are anecdotal at best but maybe that is the whole point of retro in general, in all aspects. If I wear old reading glasses or dress in vintage clothing it is the same as listening to music of a different generation. It speaks to us on very different levels and this changes across the vast spectrum of humanity and, in my humble opinion is why retro is important to all of us, or at least most of us. I would go so far to say that if you are a reader of this blog or not you will at some point look at something in the past and smile with recollection and this dear reader is why the above question is simply impossible.

If I take my own self, the only self I am actually qualified to contemplate then I would answer that I retro because it makes me feel safe. When I play retro-games I tempt myself back to a time that, in the moment, is a good place to be. I would equate it to being in a Cat Stevens song. There are sad moments but even those are a warm memory. There is the prospect of sorrow but one we are prepared for because we already lived it, we are here right now reliving those memories. We beat the game, the video game and the game of life and we can smile inwardly and outwards as we tackle one more level, one more course and godamn it feels good! We listen to recordings of the past and sing along, we read old fiction to get a glimpse of what we miss or what we wish we had missed and it makes us smile.

Those who did not live through that particular game, or generation can still re-live the experience and joy because we as humans are by our very nature empathic to others and their experiences. So when someone tells you that the kids will never experience… blah blah, tell them how wrong they are. Go one step further and show them how to pass on the joy of retro instead of gatekeeping an experience they only feel is for the entitled few.

So, back to the question. I answered. Now it is your turn. Why do you retro? What do you retro? Find me, tell me. I am sincerely interested.

Stream Downsizing

Mar 31, 2021 gaming streaming retro

It seems I am no longer a variety streamer… I guess I am a retro variety streamer now? Its a little depressing to be honest.

So, looking at my viewing figures it would appear that people only come to watch me if I stream retro gamnes, aka PS3 and down. Now whilst that is not the worst thing to happen in regard to my Twitch stream there are moments when I either cannot think what retro to play or I fancy something modern… and on the very rare occasion I simply don’t want to play anything old. What is the problem I hear you ask? Why are worried about viewers? Play what you want! There is a point in streaming that, if you wish to take it seriously, that it just doesn’t work that way.

I can, and have streamed for 5-10 people and at the start of all this that was fine. You have to grow, nobody can just walk in and suddenly hit a magical number that says you “made it” but after a long period (think years not months) you start to expect a little more and I have reached that period. I stream for many reasons including community, education, enjoyment and… growth. I want to grow. I want to reach more people. I crave, nay, thrive on the feedback and interaction with others. It shows on my streams. When I get real feedback and conversation I relax, slip in to calm mode and really enjoy myself. You cannot, or at least I cannot do this with 5 viewers.

I am not being disparaging to those who do stream to a handful, I am merely stating that I want more, I expect more and I honestly think I deserve more in a non-egotistical way. I worked bloody hard to 40-50 and when that turns to under 10 overnight due to the game I play, well it hits me hard right in the feels. I feel like I am wasting my time and when that happens I ponder why I am bothering and so, I am forcing myself to only play retro, preferably on real hardware from this point onwards.

What is really strange to me is the fact that I have been pushed in to a corner with this. I know of other streamers who get boxed and packaged as a “Siege Streamer” etc but never suspected for one minute I’d only be entertaining if I was playing old shit! I guess old streamer, old systems? I have always identified as a variety streamer, I could never limit myself to one system or genre of game and whilst that is still true it feels slightly enforced at the moment and that is something I will have to live with, or quit… for real this time! lol.

So, I begin yet another chapter in my streaming years. So many years… Haha! I am not down about it, I am disapointed but not in the people who watch, or do not watch in this case. I am disapointed in myself that I don’t have enough character to pull off being a true variety streamer. Maybe it’s my own fault for being so damn good at retro? yeah, let us go with that so I keep the smile :)

In Space Nobody Can Hear You... Die!

Mar 27, 2021 gaming

In Space Nobody Can Hear You… Die? Is a complete and utter lie! If playing the wonderful game of EVE Online anyway! Trust me, we all hear the whines and cries of the Carebear death as we drown in the tears of their failures. Harsh? I thought you were a nice guy!? Let me introduce myself before you judge.

I am Maestro Ulv. Teacher of Wolves. CEO of the space corporation Phaze-9. Friend to Ushra’Khan. Killer of the CVA. Warrior of AAA. Defender of The Great North War. Black Ops Stealth Specialist. Capital Ship Pilot and most importantly, Carebear Destroyer.

Basically if its been done in EVE, we and I have done it. Heck, we even mined to build our own ships or kill a systems market for our own abuse. I changed sides many times. I killed an entire alliance by becoming a head of the organisation and then seeding doubt before laying the final blow in a battle that ended any hopes of power. They were Sylph, they were unworthy. To sum up my experiences of EVE Online, its fucking great!

Why am I talking about EVE Online you may ask? Well, I recently finished Wing Commander III on 3DO and that got me talking about Star Citizen. Created by the very same man, Chris Roberts, but a very different experience. A very… incomplete experience with seemingly no end in sight. Be it a scam or other I leave that to you all to discuss away from me but I assure you, it shall never be the experience one can have within the EVE Universe, it won’t even be close and this saddens me beyond measure. I long for that experience again and know that it shall never come. Games can recreate it if they really wanted to but it is not just the desire that seems to be lacking it is also a lack of interest in the developers and publishers. EVE doesn’t make the kind of money that all these people seem to desire nowadays. It simply is not capable of making the quantity of money they feel they must make and deserve. The same goes for the vacuum that is Elite Dangerous, a content less game with a billion stars and nothing to do with them. You can defend games like ED, or you can just admit they are empty, dead experiences compared to the games that came before. The really sad thing is some gamers think this is OK. It isn’t.

What ever happened to gaming experiences that went beyond the pale? When did the ideal of open world nothingness where we controlled the narrative become the un-creative haven for the sad and desperate who just wish to make money? Why do we let them? Or more to the point why do YOU let them ruin the gaming experience of so many? Why do you sit and play mediocre with no demands? Yes, I do blame you, most of you. At some point you sat there numbed into submission, happy with your lot and we all are now paying the price. Are you satisfied now?

I sit here and look at the new releases and no longer wonder why Retrogaming is such a huge part of my life. I watch clone after clone of Ubi, EA and more as we reach “Game #7” in the same godamn series and watch you all praise them so highly and I pity those of us who warned you this would happen and yet… You don’t care. You have your game, you enjoy your game. You sit awaiting your day one patch. Your DLC highlights and skins. Your twitch stream after twitch stream of the same dross over and over and…

Fuck it. I am Maestro Ulv. I sit on the gates of space and await the moment you step through. You are locked and that rapid ping you hear is me watching you self destruct our gaming lifes.

The High Seas of Emulation

Mar 7, 2021 retro emulation gaming

I am a little lost in the tidal waters of emulation and the piracy that surrounds it. I never used to be, I was always in the ‘It’s fine!' camp but things have changed considerably of late with a massive influx of mini-consoles from SEGA, Sony, Nintendo, NEC etc plus the additions from SNK, Capcom and the licensed full sized cabs that are out there now. Throw in the AntStream service and, well, piracy IS a service problem and there is no problem with the retro gaming service anymore. We can now legally purchase many of the best games and play them on well made hardware and applications so are we justified to pirate roms still?

It isn’t an easy question to answer, and trust me when I say that whilst I do pay for legitimate retro gaming in many ways, from the aforementioned mini-consoles and the AntStream app I still pirate some games be they old or new. The new stuff I really do ‘try before I buy’ and if I really enjoy a new game I WILL purchase it, though many times it is when the sales come around. As a PC gamer for many years, sales are key to many of my enjoyments. Retro however is harder. You can purchase it and as already stated I do pay for a lot of it and I do feel better as a person when playing something legit that gives the IP owners some money, even if the IP owner is now a chip shop in Wolverhampton and had nothing to do with the game. They own it, they should get something for it, simple.

So what is the problem? The problem is FOMO…

The Fear Of Missing Out. Let me be honest here, if you suffer from FOMO you are basically a selfish shit who thinks the World owes them something and… here is the downer, we all feel this way over something and we justify piracy because of it. “It won’t hurt anyone”, “the real Devs don’t make money from this anymore”, “Who the hell cares now!?”. I’ll tell you who cares, the people we are ripping off. Like it or not, and most will not like it at all, piracy is taking money from the hands that we are supposed to be respecting. We play that pirated retro game because we love it, it was our childhood, we cared about this game for fucks sake and… Well it seems we care less than we think we do, because we do not care that they do not get paid despite all our professed love for the developers otherwise we would pay them! For the record, “I bought the game 30 years ago!” does not count. I am not preaching here, every single excuse above has been given by myself over time too and I feel bad about it but guess what, I still do it.

So, I made myself and maybe some of you feel bad. I probably made some of you mad that I dare tell the truth, which is a good thing because it means like me, you also care. But what do we do about it? How do we fix it? Easy solution, stop thinking you need to own every single game ever created and stick to the ones that are out there in various legally and morally available solutions. Think you can do that? Yeah, me either damnit. The simple truth is that despite all the solutions available there are some things we still want to play that we will probably never be able too legally. Licensing issues abound for one thing. I know a little something about trying to aquire a license for retro games. I am still trying to get myself the rights to Deathchase on the ZX Spectrum by Mervyn Estcourt and it seems like the game and the dev have both fell in to a black hole. The publishers know nothing, the dev has dropped off the face of the Planet and the chances of me grabbing this are roughly zero. So, does this make it OK to pirate it? If no money can go to the dev or publisher, if the rights to the game are seemingly out in the wilds of nowhere and nobody is getting ripped off, is this OK? If we say yes, what happens when Mervyn pops up and says “OI! Gimmie my monies!”? I feel as if what I am about to say is one of the many excuses we already used above but, I think this is allowed? Am I just doing what I accused you and myself of doing anyway?

I think there are no solutions to all of the quandaries I have raised but perhaps whilst we cannot solve everything in a legal matter we can at least be, mostly, morally decent. I do my best to purchase legal roms. I supplement them with illegal ones but I do not feel a need to have every game ever made just to have them. It’s the best I can do and I feel it is all I can do without never playing some of the games I really enjoyed and I promise when a real solution to ALL retro gaming comes around I will support it!

I am Hitch, I stream games on twitch and I LOVE retro gaming. I am a pirate, and I feel bad about it.


Feb 28, 2021 retro life

This past week I decided to re-engage with some of the retro community. I pulled back from a lot of it on a personal level because, well lets be honest here, it’s got some right dicks in it. All communities do of course, this is nothing new nor special to retro gaming but I always felt the retro gaming community could do better than it often does and as such I felt more disapointment than maybe I should when they devolved back in to silly fanbois with “mine’s better than yours”. I should say I have also done this, but to justify myself a little, perhaps mostly to myself. It was done when backed up against a wall by the aforementioned fanbois. When in a balanced conversation I may joke that the CD32 is an STD and that the C64 is a brown based waste of time, but I don’t actually mean it, I just come off strongly because you have to shout to be heard over some of these people. The reality, all retro is cool to someone and thats why it is great.

So anyway, my social engagement has started again. Not with everyone but with those I feel a mutual respect with, those that know about retro in general and those that have the intelligence to see the good and bad in all the systems. Twitch has had a lot to do with this as I slowly dump the haters I have met along the way. The sad defilers of enjoyment and discussion can DIAF. I am here to talk retro, to play ALL retro. No better, best, worse, just entertainment and fun from a bygone era that some of us think deserve preservation and love.

In doing so I would like to thank some of those who helped me come back from the edge of social obscurity outside of my Twitch channel. I am doing it in here because the haters cannot reply and will probably not even see it. The ones I thank, if they do see it, can’t say a damn thing to me and make me feel awkward!

I shall start with the regulars. Kola, Pixels, Edd, Hicks and Grey. I call them my crew and I mean it not as a leader but as a fellow equal. They always seem to have my back even when I may not entirely deserve it. As mentioned on a stream recently, I would hunt their murderers down and steal back the stolen memories. They also stream the things I enjoy (‘cept for Edd who really should!). We like the same things despite also being very different. They are the pinnacle of a community that may be small but with those hearts within, it feels huge.

Throwing some love to Beanhed81, he who I constantly annoy with my dissing of the CD32 but takes it on the chin like a pro. He who enjoys colour over puke greens and dull browns and knows the simple truth of SEGA Saturn. It is the best. He is the best. I am extremely lucky to have found him and as with the guys above I feel if we lived closer then many an hour at the pub would be had talking shit about old dead things with smiles on our faces.

To AmigaBill. A fanbois that I actually like! He may well defend the Amiga but his appreciation for all retro is apparent and his community should feel lucky he leads it. Possibly the nicest guy I have never met.

The AntStream team. Only spoke to a couple but the obvious love for retro in general and the desire to spread the word of old is something that makes me proud to be a part of that team. I always say that i will never promote that which I do not like and enjoy no matter what they pay me and i’d promote them for free. Just don’t tell them, OK? Lol. If you see this BK, just ignore it! Special shout out to Woody. He has been in my corner since taking over from other people and I really do feel like the lad would catch me if I fell backwards with my eyes closed. Jim, I can say no more than you ‘Mother Fucking Legend’ <3

And last but certainly not least to my community. The place you hang with me has changed over the years. The names changed, the people have changed but you guys are the best my community has ever been by a million miles. I thank you from the heart. You make my “job” a pleasure and even when I contemplate ending it (the streams not myself) its knowing you guys are out there that pulls me back so i enjoy it again. Dazza, Sparkles, Coconut, Steve, Prof, Bovine, Berz, Smol boy and girl, Rhino, Gaffer, Tas and everyone else who support me just by being around on my streams and in my Discord. Hugs. I left a ton of people out, you are just as important to me but I have to stop otherwise the list would look like one of Pixels excel sheets!

The biggest thank you goes to Pinkemma. She will probably tell me to “fuck off nerd” and whilst doing so will bring me some cinnamon covered apple slices during my stream. This is why she is simply the best. Trust me, without her behind me you lot would have no streams.

A silly post in many ways, but I felt the need to say it and now I have.

Keep it real. Keep it retro!

The First Cut...

Feb 25, 2021 streaming retro

This week I have been mostly…

Playing one tune over and over and over! Duel by Propaganda from around 1985-1986 has been the Hitch fuel of choice this past week. All because of an Amiga Public Domain game of which the name completely escapes me now!

Public Domain, for those unaware is probably the mainstay of many an Amiga users survival throughout its heyday and beyond. PD disks were around 50p to a pound back in the UK from the late 80s to the late 90s and sadly died when the Amiga started to fade away as nothing more than nostalgia. Today from what I can tell the PD scene never was revived despite the small revival amongst certain retro fans of the Amiga.

PD disks were packed from anything to random programs, currated games and demos and even mags on a disk (we can talk about those later). There were many but perhaps the most well known currated versions were Fred Fish and Assassins, the latter being my reasons for the tune by Propaganda this past few days. You took your blanks and paid a little less or you bought the disks from that slightly shady guy who lived with his mum who could also provide you with less… legit disks, floppy or CD. PD however was mostly extremely legit and legal. People often sent in programs they had written to the guys at say Assassin who compiled them in to this weeks or this months latest collection, copied it on the disks and sold it on. The cost was merely to cover the basics. No-one made money from these when doing pure PD and if they did it was merely luck not a method to fleece anyone.

There are many great PD games and programs too, from Trackers to the wonders of Scorched Earth and Gravity Force 2 (my personal favourite). An awful lot of the games were multiplayer based and so got used a hell of a lot back in the day at various computer clubs and living rooms. Quite a few PD devs even made fully released games as either an outlet or side hobby and it was even a way to become one of those bedroom coders who could break out and become the next Codemasters.

I have a lot of nostalgia for the Amiga and thinking back, most of it is based around PD disks, BBS boards and the Shareware scenes, something sadly lacking today that many a new console or computer user shall never experience and in my opinion are far worse off for never having.

For any interested I am currently streaming some PD disks, Mags on a Disk and other similiar items on my Twitch. Some of you may even know where to find it, for those that do not… Read back a little :)

For the record, I listened to Duel 5 times whilst writing this post.

Gaming on a Cube

Jan 14, 2021 computers streaming retro

As many know I have one or two retro systems… This means I often ignore some because I either forget, cannot be arsed or simply never get around to it. Yesterday, after making a promise to viewers I pulled my Wii out to play Gamecube games and make sure it was all working. Part of the reason I haven’t done it for a long time is that its a wire hell with external HDDs and the like due to it being softmodded, aka run pirate games digitally. This is now fixed and I can run all GC games from the internal SD Card. Now the card is only 32gigs but given there are not that many GC games I care about this is more than enough for now. I am without Wii games though and this needs to be fixed to run the same way, something I will do at a later date.

The actual moving of files went well with no real hassle bar the game IDs because I used the old method which requires a game to be named after its offial ID, aka GEMP01 instead of the actual name. This wasn’t hard, but was time consuming compared to the rest. The new method now has folders named however you want, I use the game name because it makes sense, which makes life much easier. Surprisingly the NAND was intact and the Virtual Console games also ran as intended so Mario 64 could also be a thing. Mario Kart 64 runs like ass though, why did anyone buy that on VC?

A cheap Wii2HDMI is also being used. I think it cost me like a fiver 2 years back and then I never used it. This, again, makes life easier with my new set-up detailed in another entry in this blog. Plug in, turn on, play game, stream. Easy. Let the Nintendo streams begin!

Side news, also installed a EVO m2 SSD as my 2nd “drive” so back to normal storage space now. Amazingly it runs faster than my main SSD despite being on the slower PCIe. Also, this blog needs pictures…


Jan 4, 2021 computers streaming

It’s upgrade time! Again!

So, as anyone that reads this and/or watches my streams will know both myself and Emma bought new PCs for Christmas based, for me, around gaming and streaming. Well mine is getting a significant upgrade already when it comes to streaming. I am a huge fan of the Elgato Game Capture HD. I never have any real issues with it and for retro and modern its great when using external consoles and computers. What its not good at is streaming from my actual PC. I use one PC for streaming and gaming, using two is not worth the hassle given I also stream other things so as it was 1k NOK cheaper in the holiday sales I grabbed a 4K60 Pro to go inside the PC. This won’t help my retro in the slightest but what it should let me do is stream anything from my PC with virtually no extra overheads and have a lag free session on my monitor at the same time. I did the math! This will work!

I pick it up tomorrow with luck from the Post Office and it should be a quick install with little hassle. There is a possibility of software conflict with my old Capture Card but despite what some think I do know what I am doing and should be able to sort it :) What does this mean for anyone watching me? Well it should mean max framerates with everything on Ultra, including RTX which really does not like being screen captured. The test is in the tasting of course so hopefully on Tuesday we get to find out as I push my system to its limits on the stream and try to break it. Proof that I am a nerd is that I am excited to see how far I can go before it says “no!”.

I have been wanting to push more in to the modern games, especially the RTX stuff simply because its still fairly new and not many people have seen it. I also get to play my Retro in ways I have never done before with the likes of Quake II RTX and more. Looking forward to some more Minecraft RTX too. Does this mean bye bye Retro? No! Nothing changes bar my ability to play even more than I could before in the name of entertainment, or at least that is the plan.

See you with lush graphics on stream real soon!

Was It That Bad?

Dec 27, 2020 fluff life

Was 2020 so bad? Really?

I write this after hearing a lot of the usual end of year comments “Thank (insert deity here) it’s over!” - “Next year will be better!” and I have to question if this year was any worse than any of the previous. Yes we have had an extra fear of dying whilst choking on our own snot and vomit from yet another bug, parasite, germ, disease, virus that seem to hit us firmly in the face in one variety or other but is that different that anything else in the 19th, 20th and 21st century? There is seemingly something to test us beyond the norm in most years for the past several hundred, maybe even several thousand of them. Its certainly been inconveniant but without meaning to somehow disparage any poor souls who have passed due to Covid-19 there has not been that many people lost compared to any previous year or decade that may not have tripped the light fantastic anyway due to age, health etc. Let me be clear, I am in no way saying this is unimportant and no more worrying that say the Flu because it plainly is, what I am saying is that it may not have made that much difference in the end, we shall never know because it is impossible to judge a current present with a possible present that may or may not have happened.

It’s certainly been a fairly normal year for this guy at least and in general this household. I admit that this Christmas holiday period has been different due to restricting travel and wearing masks in shopping centres but those things have been so minscule in reality the only real upset was that we didn’t always get to do what we wanted. Some people find that thought abhorrent but those people are selfish and afraid in general, we are not and as such it was just that, an inconvenience. As someone very close to the danger age bracket maybe it would have been worse had I caught it, and there is still a chance I could, but the inner me says i’d be fine and probably less sick than I was at the start of the year with a fairly normal Flu virus.

There is of course the financial aspects of certain business and they are still having trouble now but a lot of these businesses seem to be very fragile without any outside factors causing mayhem and a large part of me wonders how much of that is their own fault. Could it be that this extra on top merely pushed them over the edge because they were already teetering close to the cliff and assumed everything would be fine? Some, no. Some, yes. Does that make it right? Of course not but 2021, 2022 and beyond will not fix what is already broken if so and it WILL happen again if they do not change things around. To counter this, many of us got to work from Home for the same pay or close enough whilst our expenditures came in less due to transport etc. I won’t even get in to the argument that heating and food went up because thats mostly complete BS and is easily shot down with common sense. Speaking of working from Home, no more can they say “It doesn’t work” because it plainly does so when you all go back to the office and suggest working from Home again and they give you that look, just stare back because they know they are now fucked.

It sucked not being able to see family when we wanted but there appears to be just as many who were happy to take a break from family pressures and worries without having to make excuses because we already have the best one! “I can’t come Dad, Covid!”. For some of course not being able to take that Holiday was awful but… Well, I already mentioned those kind up there somewhere in a previous paragraph and they need less attention, not more.

There are some good things from this year too. We got rid of a Ginger asshole, or are at least in the process of it. We did some cool space shit. Global Warming became almost impossible to ignore even for the stupidest people and a lot of changes deemed to be bad turned out to be just fine after all, not that we will hear about them because (s) Brexit is only bad news (/s). We created new avenues for freindships as we curtailed social anxiety for many people by reaching out with the humble webcam. Online communities blossomed and became the norm reducing the social backlash that has hindered them for far too long because old people didn’t get it. The young of today stood out to be counted whilst the 20+ student generation showed their true face and stood out as selfish imbeciles (I count this as a good thing).

All in all, 2020 sucked. It sucked because every year sucks to some extent but it also ranged from great to fine to simply OK depending on how you delt with it and I guarantee 2021 will have just as many people at the end of it cursing the fact that some 91 year old celebrity died or some random shop in the middle of nowhere closed down and any other number of things that happen every single year regardless of pandemics.

With all that said, have a good end of year and a good next year. I certainly intend to make the best of whatever comes my way because otherwise, what the hell is the point?


Dec 14, 2020 computers life gaming lgbtqia+

Firstly, let me say that you won’t find me using the lgbtqia+ very often. Reasons are simply that I feel most use of it is personal but this one time at least I feel something needs to be said because everyone else (outside of mainstream media) seems terrified to say it. Cyperpunk 2077 is good. It’s a good game. It has good gameplay. It isn’t perfect however it does one thing more than any other game I have played. It makes transphobia stand out and be counted!

Now, I write this as an ally of the lgbtqia+ community who is not trans or queer or even bi in practice (work out from that what you will) but I have always stood up for the rights of the community and more importantly I try to be there for anyone that needs a shoulder. Some may say that I do not know enough because I have not experienced it first hand, those people need to stop right now. You have no idea what I have experienced and likely never will because again, its personal and I do not need to validate myself to you or anyone else to make what I say true.

There has been some debate of late about the game and how it is transphobic or the devs and artists have done transphobic things. Complete and utter tosh! Pretty sure near everyone upset by this is white, middle aged and straight as a fucking ruler whilst the actual trans people (not all) are like “Yes! I can has dick/vagina, finally”. Again, not all is perfect for example the gender pronouns are not what they could be and the voices needed more work as this is often a massive issue for someone transgender but, and I state this as much as I can when talking about this subject… It is a Video Game. It is also a video game that pushes norms in the way we need them pushed. As for that advertisment in game, sorry snowflakes but every trans person I know finds it hilarious and a leveler to the straight norms found in every other video game.

Not saying you have no right to be righteously indignant but as with most cases of this ilk, you are wrong and need to step back. Please, let this be the stepping stone we need for more of this entertainment so the other white, straight middle aged housewifes and husbands finally realise its just normal humans doing normal human things. That is the point of gender equality after all.

Anyway! The above was meant to be just a small part of this blog entry…

I am a gamer. If you are reading this then you are probably fine with this statement but today I discovered some are not and for some unknown reason the gamers seem to care.

So I was reading this discourse in a Twitch chat. A place where gamers be gamers but it looks like some of us are secretly embarassed by this fact. Why? When it comes to dating, talking to work mates etc saying you’re a gamer is a bad thing. Why are you accepting of this societal norm? If you go around looking for a relationship whilst not explaining your own personality then it WILL end in disaster and it WILL be your fault, not his or hers. Look, I am no Love Doctor (Will Smith I am looking at you for your awful portrayal of moi!) but common sense dictates that if you hide your personality from your wanna be significant other than you are lying to them and yourself. Not a good base for a solid relationship is it? Tell them you game! Tell them you also do other things. You work. You probably read on occasion. Pretty sure 99% of you also watch Netflix or movies. Do you eat? What do you like to eat? “I’m a gamer…” Come on! If they look at you in disgust then why the hell are you trying to date them? Get some self respect FFS.

If this person doesn’t game, doesn’t watch movies or Netflix and doesn’t eat then they have issues mate as do you if you really only game. Its not a relationship you seek, it’s help.

There is, probably, someone for everyone out there. Sometimes we have to look outside our box but we also have to place the things we enjoy in the box so we can play together. Don’t lie. Don’t sit there with this egotistical idea that you as a gamer are the only right way in the conversation.

For the record, I am a gamer… I am also a Cyclist, a reader, a lover of Sci-Fi and Crime dramas, a Chef, a lover, a debutant and a beard. I also look damn good in a dress and find Gerard Butler hot!

Up and Running

Dec 9, 2020 computers life streaming

Back, up and running. New PC is a dream to use and has been providing me with a plethora of new games and some old that I can now run in ridiculous mode. Desk is super clean and I have loads of room and I am back streaming. No sign yet on that new job I am trying for and Christmas is booked for a few weeks down south in the family home. Beyond that, very little has happened.

I have firmly decided I will keep streaming even if I get this job though on a cut down basis but as Emma tells me, I need the outlet. She is, of course, correct. I think I also need the community I founded and have watched grow in to something I didn’t realise was so important to so many. Just the thought of me closing it all and walking away (which was never going to happen by the way) has brought me support and well wishes that I just did not expect but that warms me in some strange way so I am willing to accept it, humbly.

I feel that we, people in general, often fail to see the effect we have on others for good. Perhaps we get embarrassed or feel we do not deserve the praise but for whatever reason we rarely notice it. We do notice the bad we cause though, or at least I have done in the past. And yes, of course I have affected people the wrong way too, to say otherwise would be ignorant and egotistical… But regardless, the good is what I am focussing on here. I have been a force for good it seems. I feel very silly typing this out but this is exactly why this is here so, ya know? Without getting all full of myself, I am very happy that some deem me worthy of praise for some small efforts on my part to enhance, cheer, celebrate change and support people I meet. I feel happy enough to punch myself in the arm with a “you did OK”. That’s it though. Now we can all carry on as if nothing happened, thank you very much.

Sorry for the lack of a blog for the past few days. I had to wait for tech support to get me back online with Visual Studio Code (what I use to do this blog) and… well, I have been playing so many games i kinda forgot :)

Today is Maybe the Day

Dec 3, 2020 computers fluff

EXCITED! Today is the day, maybe… That my new PC build gets here and as mentioned in a previous post, I am pretty excited about it all. I need to move a chunk of gear about. I am pretty sure that for now I need to downsize to just two monitors (1st World problems eh?) but I think that may be for the best anyway. Do you use three monitors? I find my 3rd is turned off bar streaming times so its essentially wasted space for 90% of the time. I will need to buy a new 2k monitor so I have two of the same but I can ‘manage’ until then.

Sometime next year I will be grabbing a 1TB gen 4 SSD to fit in the ‘lightning’ slot. I need a new mouse… NEVER touching Steel Series again for cosmetic reasons… but as of today I am boosted heavily over my current gaming laptop setup. Don’t get me wrong, it did well but the heat issues caused by the newer top 2% games are now something I am tired of. So, you want some specs?

*MSI B550 Gaming Plus

*Ryzen 7 3700X

*32 GB 3200

*WD Blue SN550 1TB NVMe M.2 SSD

*Corsair TX550M, 550W PSU


*Gainward GeForce RTX 2060 Ghost

*Phanteks Eclipse P400A RGB Black

Its a RGB Neon tripping super upgradable DISCO loving hunk that has room for the latest AMD CPU next year and of course that tasty RTX 3070 when they are finally in stock at normal prices. All in all, very happy, very excited. Did I mention I am excited?

Emma has also been treated to a new PC for Christmas. Almost the same specs as mine but she went even better Ryzen CPU and some seriously tasty RAM. Had a lot of fun last night with her whilst we ate cake and built hers. Sadly the PSU on hers is faulty out of the box so that has to go back but she will be up and running soon I am sure. The cake was needed to cheer us both up when we realised it was broken. Cake is god tier.

To top yesterday off I recieved my Terrys Chocolate Orange Whites in the mail from the UK. Any day with a new PC, cake and a chocolate orange is a good day.


Dec 1, 2020 work life cycling

I have applied for the new job. Its my perfect job. Bike Mechanic and Bike Builder with a side of Ski.

Really want this. Hope I get it. Trying to not get too happy though.

Ch Ch Changes

Dec 1, 2020 streaming life retro

Changing ones lifestyle is easy or hard? I am going with the latter but I do believe the hard part of both is that you have to want it. I want it.

This is not a depresing post, in-fact its the exact opposite even though some will see it as depressing and may even be concerned for my welfare. Do not be, I am fine. For the past few weeks, maybe months, I have been considering downsizing my Retro Gaming collection. Now, when I say downsizing I mean actual, real, downsizing. I am hoping to aquire a new job, one I want to do for a change and if I get it I will likely dump 90% of my gear. If I do not get the job then I am likely still going to dump a large percentage of my current gear. Maybe… We shall see. Just writing that line has made me reconsider my possible future actions and that annoys me! See, I know that I want change but as already mentioned change can be hard.

Why do I want change is perhaps the more pertinant question I should ask myself and believe me, I have… a lot.

The answer I keep coming up with is not a satisfactory one. I want change because I want change. What? Can that be a reason? Can you change your life simply because you want to or do you need an actual reason for it? It’s not like the change I want is fleeting and small. I want a new job. I want this specific job. I want to be outside more. I want to purchase a van and travel up and down the country with our bikes. Those few, simple, points alone will drastically change how my average day rolls out from that satisifed feeling of doing a days work that you actually enjoyed to knowing I don’t have to be jovial and happy in the entertainment of others, something I enjoy doing but it seems less so than I used to. Maybe I am just tired? I feel tired but then again I feel that this is much more than that. Perhaps I am tired because I need this change? I am over-thinking it now. I know this. I despise it when people say “you are just tired” Yes, I am tired of having my tiredness feel so inconsequential… sigh.

OK. First things first. I need to get this job. Pretty sure if I do or do not there will be something said about it in here.

Streaming Woes

Nov 30, 2020 streaming life retro

I am sure some have noticed my lack of streaming lately. I think last week I managed two in a week that normaly contains five a week. Panic not… just yet anyway. We all need a break in whatever we do, be it streaming, working (which streaming often feels like) or anything we do in life. Sometimes we just need a break. I need a break right now so I am taking it.

This is not to say there are no other reasons, there are. I have of late felt a little… Dark in the mind? Not depresed but tired. Tired on a mental level which in my opinion is the hardest one to beat. Couple that with a tiredness of the body due to lack of excercise, dark nights, lack of sleep… oh I could go on but I won’t, and streaming is taking a definitive back ring on the stove top of life. Heh, I like that. The stove top of life! Must remember to use that one again. There are other factors present that push my current interest to stream further away. One is the new PC coming. Both myself and Emma are treating ourselves to a gaming desktop rig for Christmas and I have to say I am excited.

It’s been a long time since the concept of jonesing (having the latest thing) in computers caused anything inside me other than self hate but right now the thought of RTX, Gen4 PCIe, RGB Memory and the rest make me feel like I did when I first started on the PC side. Back then it was a Voodoo and playing Quake 2 at full screen, full speed and realising I had downed a 6-pack of Coke and lost track of 8 hours straight. This new excitment follows very similiar lines except this time around its large bottles of sugar free Coke and Quake 2 with added RTX to make it all pop. The irony is not lost on me that I will be playing a retro game from 1997 on a computer that could emulate a computer playing Quake 2 on another computer and still have the CPU to send a dozen probes to Mars in real-time. I will also be playing Red Dead Redemption 2 though so its all good.

Where was I?

Oh yes. Streaming. See, this new rig is making me turn from my chosen gaming theme of retro to the more modern and as such you can expect a week, or much more, of modern game streams ran with RTX or 1440p (2K to anyone not anal) but the downside of this is that I want to do it NOW! The new PC isn’t here yet though so… sad, and uninspired to stream anything else until that point. Fear not though retro people, I shall still stream everything bar the C64 but perhaps slightly less than previously. Will this affect viewing figures? For sure! Is that part of the reason for the streaming woes? Good grief no. I think I reached a point now where I stream for me rather than others. I already passed the point where I cared that someone was leaving my stream because I didn’t do a certain thing (commodore fanbois, I see you hiding in the bushes gasping for breath) and I am so much happier for it. So yes. I will be back. It will be sooner rather than later and it will be featuring a lot more modern gaming of the type I probably at some point said I wasn’t interested in. Things change. I change.

I still love you all though!

Not Ryan Reynolds

Nov 30, 2020 site fluff life

Firstly let me state for the blind and wantingly stupid, I really am not Ryan Reynolds. Why did I pick this name? I was sat on the sofa at 5.34am pondering my existence whilst simultaneously failing at sleep when I thought how cool would it be to not be Ryan Reynolds? No clearer? Welcome to my World.

So. Who am I and why does this exist? I am Not Ryan Reynolds. Some call me Hitch. I stream. I say things. I am often misconstrued and I like to talk. The latter being the perfect reason for this blog.

I have no real ideas about what content shall be placed here. I do know that most of it will be personal thoughts and of very little interest to the World at large. If you are reading this then I shall assume one of two things. You are very bored and/or you enjoy meaningless ramblings from a total stranger. This is fine. I like these things too. Hello fellow random person!

What follows is… Well, let’s just find out shall we?